Ms'Guided Angel
ferociously devoted
Caroline Carey
When we address who we really are with more generosity, humor, understanding & compassion, with an ability to 'see' ourselves, then we accept true freedom into our lives. Caroline Carey
If I was to take from my past all that I had learnt and make a decision to share it with the world and share my story, I wonder what effect it would have. My hope would be that in some way it would help and encourage people who struggle with difficulties and misfortunes, to know that there are ways of moving on, of letting go and of becoming something much more than they could imagine, even in times of absolute doubt. I would hope that in spite of all things, there would be a sense of courage and determination to achieve more and live a happier life. That dreams could be fulfilled and wounding and hurt could be overcome. I have been physically, mentally and sexually abused in my life, and yet my main goal now is to help others and to live a creative, loving and abundant life. I have lived in poverty and fear; I have been as low as I could be, with extreme difficulties. It has taken many dances of fear, anger and sadness to be able to look at my problems in the face and say ‘no more’. I have had to re-programme myself in order to truly know in my heart and every cell of my body that I deserved more and better. I know there have been people with deeper wounding, more difficulties than I, and in many ways I have been extremely lucky, But that is no reason for me to not do the work I have needed to do. As I said at the beginning of this book, maturity is the key and what I have sought more than anything. A relationship that has its foundations firmly rooted in honesty so there are no doubts and never a lie is spoken, one that is filled with good communication from both sides and a desire to be truthful. No matter the challenge there is always a way through and the mature couple will find that way no matter what they have to uncover to find it. There is a huge strength in this and an enormous amount of freedom.
There are many ways it seems to start writing a book. I spent some time over this, deciding it would begin from the very beginning, or at least as far back as I could remember. And then I wanted to explain why I would write about my own life’s story. If people are going to read about me then I need them to understand why I am sharing so much of my own intimate life, the challenges and the suffering as well as the healing and the outcomes after years of hardship. It’s a bit of a ‘Cathy come home’ story. In this case not so much the homeland, although that is a part of it, but coming home to myself. In order to find the real me that exists beneath the shadows of a difficult life. I write about my own journey in order to maybe help others find their own ‘way home’. It’s not a book to necessarily entertain, although there may be parts of it that are, but rather to inspire and give some insights on how to deal with life’s crisis. I have learnt certain ways to be and ways to motivate and push myself on when everything seemed hopeless and when others said ‘it could not be done’. Times when I have been frowned upon for not being a good enough mother/homemaker, and for not being the stereotypical mum and wife. I am more an archetypal warrior/enchantress/mystic who embraces all aspects of woman hood and adolescence and does not feel that I have to be any particular age at any particular time of my life. Better to dip in and out at different times and experience as much as possible. But ultimately my goal is maturity. That to me is true freedom. I am fascinated with people who say and do as they please, with kindness and fairness to others of course! But they speak their truth at all times. They are the person they have carved themselves out to be and not here on this planet simply to play safe and win the admiration of others. The mature adult knows themselves from the inside out, their shadows and their lightness, they have ambition and life goals because that means they make use of the valuable gifts they were sent to this earth to explore with. Maturity means that they do not indulge in any amount of victim hood, the victim is simply a vampire, sucking energy from others who will show pity and sorrow, who will engage in the mood swings and the depressions of those who refuse to help themselves and grow up. The victim prefers to remain as a child, dependant on feeding off others as if they were their parents and this serves them both well, because as long as there are victims in the world then others will feel needed and wanted, which ultimately feeds their own egos and makes them feel important and valued.
The mature ‘being’ however is often seen as a rebel, because they do not conform to the wishes of society and the rules and regulations we can often be dealt from very early ages. They refuse to indulge in pettiness of any sort but tell it how it is with conviction and truth. There are no places for lies in the world of the rebel, they have no need to lie, it is totally unnecessary for they do not fear the truth about themselves or of others. It would be absurd for a rebel to lie, making no sense at all. It would be far too uncomfortable. They will take themselves to the very edges of their own lives in order to find the absolute truth in any situation, to discover for themselves anything that is hidden, every stone must be unturned, every nook and cranny delved into, the mature being will not rest until all is uncovered and then only then will they move on to the next challenge and discover more.
So I wrote this book in order to tell the truth. And encourage others also to find the truth of their lives, so then we can learn from each other and ‘really’ begin to heal the psyche of the human condition.
And I believe there is a rebel and truth teller in us all - one who wants to break out of restrictive forces. One who refuses to be held in place by others opinions and dogmas. We often fear the rebels because they will make us feel uncomfortable, will take us to our edge and laugh at our follies. The rebel is free enough to laugh at itself.
The rebel is a free dancer and cannot be owned or controlled. The rebel is a seeker of freedom and that is his/her only true goal in life. The rebel knows more than we can imagine and appears to know nothing. The rebel knows that life is a great stage and a place to play many roles. And yet the rebel, the true seeker of freedom is disciplined to the truth, to healing, and manifesting good for all. The rebel loves deeply.
The rebel is Ferociously Devoted.
